Last night I had a horrible nightmare.  I can't remember ever having one this bad. I'm thinking maybe if I write it out it'll not seem so bad.

I'm walking home.  More like scampering and sliding because I'm on what seems like huge boulders and the way home is to wind my way down them to a path.  I can't see anything around me, but I sense things in a way that I'm "seeing" them.  I can actually see, if I look down, my legs from my knees down and an area of the ground around me. Sort of like I'm looking through a tube and can only see what shows through the end.  Even if I look up, I can only see about knee high, and then only for a short distance, then nothing.  Not blackness, just nothingness.  So I'm scrambling down the boulders, whistling and humming.  As I'm almost home, I hear two voices bickering and laughing.  I'm not sure if the dream-me knows them to be my husband and son or if the real-me thinks they are because it's how they are with each other.  When we all come together I still never see them, only sense them.  They move aside, up against the rocks and one of them gestures like he's holding a door open for me.  Again, I'm not seeing this, only sensing.  Nobody speaks but everything is very serene.  Even though I can't see anything, the dream doesn't feel dark right now.  Everything is perfectly normal feeling as if the sun is shining and I can see colors and things. After I move past the voices I'm on the path and I come to the entrance to home.  Then I hear a noise.  Now I'm scared and things are dark.  I look around but nothing.  I run into the entrance and it's a long hallway.  I sense walls but no ceiling.  I run ahead into the darkness as if it's completely lit.  Then I hear the noise again and I turn around and look back down the hallway.  I don't see anything but I sense something.  I figure I'll scare it away so I crouch down and then charge forward, growling.  At that second, something breaks through the lower part of the wall and grabs my legs.  I yell and start falling, being pulled by the thing. 

I heard the real-me yell and then I heard my husband speaking, "Honey, honey, you're dreaming. Are you okay?"  His hand was on my shoulder, shaking me carefully.  I burst into tears and told him no, and scooted as close as I could to him and he hugged me as tight as he could and I cried for the longest time. This happened sometime before three o'clock and after I stopped crying and hubby fell back to sleep, I just laid there, exhausted but unable to sleep. 

I never thought I would be happy to hear my alarm clock go off at 4:30, but today I was.  I can't get the dream out of my mind and feeling that terror when the wall broke apart and was pulling me in.

I can't find any decent music to listen to.  I get like this.  I have a ton of CDs... lots of them ripped to my work computer... huge variety of genres... and still I can't find anything to listen to.  I'm even bored with Pandora and LAUNCHcast.  I need music to keep my head clear, and to help drown out the coworkers babblefests. 

Babblefests.  There are these two guys... Hang on, just to be clear, I have nothing against guys and I'm not implying that them being guys is why what they do irritates me. If they were gals or one of each, I'd still be irritated. Anyway, they both do the same work and their cubicles are next to each other, you know, separated by the half wall thing.  So they sit there and babble all day long.  One smartass comment for another and peppered with outbursts of belly laughs. 

So, I need to have the music loud and nonstop to drown these two out.

I have to figure this out before I lose my mind!! 

Ooops!  Too late.  I just remembered a bit of a dream I had last night, right before I woke up at 4:00 in the morning choking on something stinging in my throat. Allergies. So this bit of my dream was something to do with my underwear being too small, cutting in and riding up.  Gads! What is that supposed to mean?  I'll just try to forget that one.

Gonna see if I can go lose myself in some seventies music.  What have I got on my drive?  ABBA, BTO, Carpenters, Doobie Brothers, Eagles, Foreigner, Gary Glitter, Heart, Journey, Kansas, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Miller Band, Nazareth, Pink Floyd, Queen, REO Speedwagon, Rod Stewart, Steely Dan, Styx, Three Dog Night, UFO, Who.  How can I be bored with that mix?  Guess I need more.